It's All About The ConfidenceFri 3rd Sep, 2010 12:34am
Gok Wan and his Channel 4 show ‘How To Look Good Naked’ has changed many peoples...
Josh's Birdie Attempt Falls Short As Francis Wins DaySun 29th Aug, 2010 12:42am
Dark, dank and in need of a change. No, not Ginger’s pants but the Kent weather...
Tilley Turns Water Into WhineThu 19th Aug, 2010 04:39pm
Channel 4 received 702 complaints last night after airing the first episode of i...
Mouse Caught Smuggling Ex Into BritainThu 19th Aug, 2010 03:56pm
John ‘Mouse’ Shephard was being questioned by Interpol last night after being ar...
"That Is So Unfair!"Sun 8th Aug, 2010 11:35pm
Players attitudes need to improve. That was the overwhelming verdict from the v...
Kelvedon Reject Town's Bid For MazzoSun 8th Aug, 2010 11:14pm
Canning Town have been thwarted in their attempts to sign Kevin ‘Mazzo’ Marsden ...
And the Winners Are....Sun 1st Aug, 2010 11:53am
They say that there is no substitute for experience. They might be right. Dere...
First and Second Team Managers ConfirmedWed 28th Jul, 2010 11:53pm
With the managers of all four teams resigning at the end of the last season, it ...
Bandit Plunders Town GloryFri 2nd Jul, 2010 11:06am
bandit n. 1. A robber, especially one who robs at gunpoint. 2. An outlaw; a g...
Marksy's Marvels Win May & Baker Five-a-sideMon 21st Jun, 2010 09:53pm
As England stumble from one disaster to another in South Africa, Canning Town di...
Town's Managers Are All FawltyMon 21st Jun, 2010 09:36pm
The future is bright, the future is orange. That was the voters overwhelming ve...
Daly's Shriftness Will Make 'Er Indoors ProudSat 12th Jun, 2010 12:39am
Normality was restored at The Manor of Groves Golf Club on the latest Canning To...
Towners Try To Grab World Cup GloryFri 11th Jun, 2010 11:51pm
East London is a see of red and white as the red cross of St George flutters eve...
Town Emulate Spartans Following Epic VictoryThu 20th May, 2010 11:14pm
The war had been raised by a Dinosaurs messenger, Barry Polentin, who demanded t...
Have You Registered Your Vote For The Players' Player of the Year Awar...Wed 19th May, 2010 09:32pm
Club Secretary, Terry Cordrey, is currently in the process of collating the vote...
Bend It Like Beckham or Retire It Like Cherrett?Tue 18th May, 2010 03:17am
There is an old maxim; what happens on tour stays on tour. This tour is no diff...
"Who do you think you are kidding Mr Maree?"Thu 6th May, 2010 07:22pm
On the 1st September 1939, Germany invaded Poland. Two days later, after German...
Six Star Hotel Leads To One Star PerformanceTue 27th Apr, 2010 10:47pm
Town Vets finished their domestic season on a high with a 3-1 win over long time...
Coincidence?Sat 24th Apr, 2010 12:44am
Canning Town First Team wins are like Lee Wilson smiles - and its been a long 68...
Town Hit By Volcano AshThu 22nd Apr, 2010 01:14pm
As Europe struggles to get back to normality following the volcanic eruptions of...
Smith Tastes Victory as Arthey's Taste ChipsThu 22nd Apr, 2010 11:47am
Money just doesn't go as far as it used to. Back in the days £62 would get you ...
Scientists Discover 'Missing Link'Wed 14th Apr, 2010 09:46pm
The missing link between humans and their ape-like predecessors could be filled ...
Mouse's Miss Compared To Diana Ross' 94 EffortMon 12th Apr, 2010 11:04pm
Another week goes by in Canning Town history and another Shephard misses a penal...
"I'll Be Back"Mon 12th Apr, 2010 10:26pm
The machines rose from the ashes of the nuclear fire. Their war to exterminate ...
Tubby To Come Out Of Retirement To Save TownTue 6th Apr, 2010 04:29pm
After seven defeats on the bounce, Canning Town’s First Team is on the verge of ...
Success Of SuBo Sees Town Launch New NicknamesFri 2nd Apr, 2010 09:39pm
Not to be outdone by the stars of Hollywood, Town's PR department are working ov...
Bugsy Takes Ladies Route To VictoryThu 1st Apr, 2010 04:30pm
Shaun ‘Burns’ Maloney managed to overcome the disappointment of being asked to p...
Hawkins Virtuoso Performance Is Too Good For DinosaursThu 1st Apr, 2010 02:50pm
"It was just like watching Brazil," said the referee after the game as Town Vets...
Tempers Flare at Ska NightWed 24th Mar, 2010 11:21pm
Tempers flared at the Town Ska & Reggae night after Lee Musson accused Lee Wilso...
Wingnut Proves Cresswell DefenceFri 19th Mar, 2010 10:19pm
Phil Cresswell walked free from court yesterday after the judge ruled that the c...
Coker's Cola Goes Flat As Ray Is DumpedMon 15th Mar, 2010 09:25pm
The recent poll vote asking whether Ray Coker’s latest relationship would last s...
Shephard Rues Misses And MissusMon 15th Mar, 2010 09:01pm
The month of March traditionally heralds the onset of spring and with it the opt...
Barton Hospitalised Following Kebab FracasFri 12th Mar, 2010 08:54am
Police are appealing for witnesses after a Canning Town goalkeeper was assaulted...
Weekend Round Up: The Good, The Bad And The UglyMon 8th Mar, 2010 11:21pm
Another weekend of mixed results did little to relieve collective relegation fea...
Terry Set To Blank Edmunds HandshakeTue 2nd Mar, 2010 08:19pm
John Edmunds is the daddy. That was the overwhelming opinion of the public as h...
Watts Talks Out Of His Bumhole As Vets WinMon 1st Mar, 2010 09:59pm
Town Vets turned on one of their own last Sunday as Geoff Watts was accused of t...
Town Fund Essex FAFri 19th Feb, 2010 12:23pm
Essex FA’s disciplinary committee has refuted allegations that they are targetin...
Terry Leads By Example – That’s Cordrey, Not John!Sun 14th Feb, 2010 12:30pm
“Liam is disruptive, has had a poor start to the year and doesn’t mix very well....
James CarleyMon 8th Feb, 2010 10:21pm
The funeral arrangements for James Carley have been confirmed by his parents Dea...
Mills Looks Over The Hill As Town Are DownedMon 8th Feb, 2010 08:39pm
Town tumbled out of the Skip Atwood Cup to lower league Haver Town despite an im...
Winger That Can't Cross Caught Cross DressingThu 4th Feb, 2010 06:02pm
Phil Cresswell would always like to be considered as one of the lads. From the ...
Town Experience a Y2K Moment in Millenium CupTue 2nd Feb, 2010 07:33pm
Town’s 4th XI tumbled out of the Millennium Cup (previously known as the Romford...
BFG - Big Fat GingerTue 2nd Feb, 2010 06:48pm
Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesam...
I don’t believe it! Wilson triumphs again.Sat 30th Jan, 2010 11:09am
Lee Wilson captured his 47th CTFC golf day title at a saturated Stock Brook Mano...
Fry Goes Friar Tuck After Bad Hair DayFri 29th Jan, 2010 12:40am
Veteran defender Stefan Fry is to sue the hair colouring manufacturers Just For ...
Dodds Proves a Dud as Town ExitThu 21st Jan, 2010 06:38pm
Town Reserves exited from the Essex Junior Cup on Saturday, beaten 4-0 by their ...
Mouse Plays Dumb Over Ginger's MumMon 11th Jan, 2010 08:47pm
Richard Shephard was reportedly in hiding last night, probably in a fast food ea...
Mooney's WoeMon 11th Jan, 2010 08:35pm
Canning Town Football Club have confirmed that training has been cancelled this ...
Arthey On Fire At Golf AGMFri 8th Jan, 2010 08:31pm
Its time to dust off your driver and clean them grooves as golf is back on the a...
Bakers Dozen Beat Towns SixteenThu 7th Jan, 2010 11:16pm
2010 began with a whimper for Town Vets as they were edged out by a clever and s...
Coker Gets Internet Victory But Marsh Is Real WinnerFri 1st Jan, 2010 06:47pm
In the end, it didn’t matter. For one reason or another (Jay says he was injure...
Celebrate Christmas at the Boxing Day Booze UpThu 24th Dec, 2009 11:59am
Canning Town would like to wish all its members a Merry Christmas and look forwa...
Drunken Arthey Ruins Christmas For FrancisThu 24th Dec, 2009 11:58am
Confusion reigned long into the night at Town's Christmas Golf Day as Bobby Arth...
Town Founder DiesWed 9th Dec, 2009 11:00pm
It is with deep sadness that we have to report that Eric Keylock passed away las...
He's Bald, he's Black, he plays in our AttackThu 3rd Dec, 2009 06:10pm
Following the longest poll vote in Canning Town history, Junior Henry has been c...
Town Haul Themselves Up The TableMon 30th Nov, 2009 09:53pm
Town climbed off the bottom of the Premier Division with a convincing victory ov...
"Gaynor Could Have Scored It"Wed 18th Nov, 2009 10:04am
Saturday night was Abba night as far as any self respecting Town member was conc...
Town Extinguish DinosauarsTue 3rd Nov, 2009 11:20pm
Incessant rain, driving wind and no kit yet still the silly old gits - affection...
Town Players in Another SmashMon 2nd Nov, 2009 09:56pm
Following on from the Jason Croney car crash, yet another group of Town players ...
Wilson Curses Long NightTue 27th Oct, 2009 10:16pm
Steve Wilson has confirmed that last Saturday was the longest night of his life....
Paul Mooney: time to start watching Jack on a Sunday?Sun 25th Oct, 2009 10:42pm
William Fitt Vets 1 – 2 Canning Town Vets You don’t have to travel to the B...
Lifes A Beach for Belk and HenryThu 22nd Oct, 2009 06:29pm
John Wyatt is reportedly so concerned with his misfiring forward line that he is...
World's Fattest Man Found In.....Wed 21st Oct, 2009 10:31pm
The Sun newspaper have been forced to apologise after claiming that the worlds f...
Town Down But Not OutWed 21st Oct, 2009 10:07pm
Citius, altius, fortius. That is the motto of the Olympic Games and roughly tra...
Je Voudrais Passer la Nuit Avec PhilippeWed 7th Oct, 2009 09:28pm
Philippe Maree has run away and married the latest poll. A whopping 44% of the ...
Gormley Paints Towns RedWed 7th Oct, 2009 04:52pm
The seaside towns of Southend-on-Sea, Leigh-on-Sea and Benfleet are slowly getti...
Ives Faces Up To FutureThu 24th Sep, 2009 06:14pm
Danny Ives protracted transfer to Faces has fallen through and the disillusioned...
Spanking The MonkeyThu 10th Sep, 2009 06:17pm
Picture the scene. After yet another Luke Weller two-footed lunge the oppositio...
Eleven pansies, but no vaseWed 9th Sep, 2009 10:58pm
FA Vase 1st Qualifying Round Erith Town 7 – 0 Canning Town Arguably the mo...
Cordrey Eyes SolutionMon 7th Sep, 2009 10:14pm
Terry Cordrey had a day to forget at the weekend. After fulfilling his club dig...
Stokes Stokes Family FeudSat 5th Sep, 2009 08:31pm
They may have given them 30 years and a three-goal start but it was the Canning ...
Wilson Wins After Wonderful Back NineTue 1st Sep, 2009 01:41pm
Lee Wilson emerged victorious after a tense finish at Austin Lodge Golf Club whi...
Another One Bites The DustTue 25th Aug, 2009 08:10pm
Town officials are said to be helping police with their enquires after a tribute...
You'd Better Watch Out, Weller's AboutTue 25th Aug, 2009 07:39pm
At the next Canning Town social function Luke Weller has been ordered to wear a ...
Ding Ding, Eyes DownThu 13th Aug, 2009 06:41pm
Steve Ives and Paul Mooney almost came to blows last week after a bingo dispute ...
"We'll Miss Her Ginger Hair And The Way She Used To Dress"Mon 10th Aug, 2009 11:05pm
Hampshire Police have today released a photofit of a man they would like to ques...
Denham Not Just Here To Make Up The NumbersSat 8th Aug, 2009 01:20am
Town fans have voted Terry Denham as the player most likely to be a cross dresse...
Town Deny Transfer RumoursTue 14th Jul, 2009 11:35pm
Canning Town have moved quickly to deny their interest in Kelvedon Hatch forward...
Maloney Moans At New MarkTue 14th Jul, 2009 11:17pm
Recent shock away day winner Shaun Maloney is to protest over his revised handic...
Weller - A Danger To SocietyMon 13th Jul, 2009 12:17pm
Not only a danger to opposition midfielders but a menace on the roads. That was...
Millionaire To Bag One Last Birdie?Tue 16th Jun, 2009 11:49pm
The Canning Town Football Club Golf Society descend on Norwich this weekend and ...
Wyatt Claims An Historic TrebleSun 14th Jun, 2009 03:18pm
Canning Town held their annual dinner and dance Presentation last night and Todd...
Boring Boring DyerFri 5th Jun, 2009 10:33pm
Club Captain Jay Dyer is officially the last player you’d want to be stuck in a ...
Expenses corruption hits ‘Town committeeWed 27th May, 2009 08:01pm
The Canning Town committee are the subject of allegations alluding to the misuse...
Whose the Daddy?Wed 20th May, 2009 05:02pm
A boy of 14 was the REAL father of the baby that 13-year-old Alfie Patten though...
Pollgate Scandal as Vote Rigging Rocks TownWed 20th May, 2009 04:33pm
Controversy reigned as the results for latest Town poll were published earlier t...
‘Harvey babes’ escape tragedyThu 14th May, 2009 08:41pm
It wasn’t a cold night in Munich, but a warm breezy afternoon in Barking when ne...
Hamburglar Strikes Again!Sat 18th Apr, 2009 12:28am
Steve ‘Hamburglar’ Wilson is officially the most underrated footballer at the cl...
Denham Claims Dunce AwardTue 31st Mar, 2009 08:10pm
According to his fellow Town peers, Terry Denham is the thickest player at the c...
Wilson Wins Slowcoach AwardWed 18th Mar, 2009 05:00pm
Lee Wilson is officially the Club’s slowest player. After recent performances h...
Matt’s Mane Beats Monkey’s MessMon 2nd Mar, 2009 10:09pm
Matt Leonard officially has the worst haircut at the club. The unkempt stopper ...
Venus de Moono ApologisesWed 25th Feb, 2009 11:42am
Paul Mooney has today apologised for his shocking performance in the Vets defeat...
My Left FootTue 17th Feb, 2009 08:24pm
Its official, Michael Dodd has the sweetest left foot at Canning Town FC, after ...
Ginger left unconscious in violent attackMon 2nd Feb, 2009 07:51pm
‘Town football development officer, Richard Shephard, was left unconscious last ...
New Town Site Is SuperbWed 28th Jan, 2009 09:28pm
Canning Town are said to be ‘delighted’ after their faithful supporters gave the...
TOWN CHAIRMAN LEAVES CINEMA ‘SHAKEN NOT STIRRED’Wed 14th Jan, 2009 07:07pm
'Town Chairman Steve Ives has admitted that his marriage to Vicky is on the rock...
TOWN APPOINT NODDING DOG AS CAPTAINWed 14th Jan, 2009 05:55pm
Following the retirement of Geoff Watts, the CTFC Committee have moved quickly t...
