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Another weekend of mixed results did little to relieve collective relegation fears as Town won two but lost three fixtures on Saturday.

The first XI were left to rue the goal that never was as Stefan Fry's effort was chalked off for a foul with the game goalless.  Defensive howlers then proved costly as they went 3-0 down before deciding to play.

The subsequent onslaught was spirited and determined but the damage was done and Michael Smith's goal proved to be less than a consolation as they succumbed 3-1 to relegation rivals Ongar who leapfrogged their east London hosts.

Steve Wilson's decision to recommend Steve Wilson to the 2's looked a good one as the reserves gained their first win in three games as they beat bottom club Mountnessing 6-1, at the training ground.

Gary Shephard grabbed a brace and Hooded Claw lookalike Dave Gormless glanced one in off his nose, whilst Robbie Withers excellent save at 2-1 was crucial.  Self proclaimed club saviour Danny Ives and Michael Ilunga also found the net.

Reiss Russell got the other goal and his solid display must keep him knocking on the first team door.  To be honest he runs more than Woodsy, passes better than Jay and is better looking than Wilson!

The Turds had a double header against Allied Rec, managing an impressive 3-2 win after losing the first game 2-0.  Phil Cresswell's 20 yard screamer was somehow sandwiched by two better efforts from skipper Danny Greenhall.  First game spectator Richie Shephard said that he hasn't seen so many screamers since he stayed at Pikey's house.

Dave Mills shone in game one but produced miss of the season contenders a and b in game two.  Stopper Matt Hatton made three important saves in the latter game as he secured the MoM award.

Newham Council are likely to make a complaint, however, as after two hours of being ploughed by Shephard, Mills and Billy 'So Big He Takes Up Another' Parish, the once great Pyramids was reduced to a mere triangle.

Harvey Price would probably do a better job with the fours than his lookalike Jason Richardson.  The young gaffer is being hamstrung by the continued unavailability of players throughout the club but he is close to being remembered as the man who oversaw the biggest drowning since the Titanic went down.

Again starting a game with ten men, they were 3-0 down after 15 minutes.  Opponents Eastside Rovers galloped through the remaining 75 minutes, declaring at 11-0.

Nevertheless, the players spirits remain undimmed and next weeks match against the Co-op takes on great significance.  Whoever loses will undoubtedly finish bottom.  Come on the fours!